I Found Something

Here's a poem I wrote a few years ago after I got my heart broken:

Love: What is it?

I thought it was that
instant connection. U know?
The one where your heart
leaps uncontrollably out of your body.

That feeling that if you 
aren't close to that person
you can't function.

I thought that as long as I
loved him, he was mine.
Love to me is being loyal 
and true

Having consideration for his 
feelings and his flaws. 
I did all of that and still
ended up alone.

Love - what is it?
Does it exist or is it just a myth?

This is a question that I seem to come back to all the time. I realize now that I always have love. The love of god, family, and friends. What I have to work on is love of self. What happened between my childhood and now that I don't love myself like I should? I don't go after things whole-heartily anymore. I'm starting to now, but I still have this underlying feeling that something is missing. What is it? Why am I pulled and so many directions at once and getting nowhere. I have a lot of work to do in order to grow. I really have to work on my thinking. I have so much potential and I don't need to waste it being sad or angry.