My Soul

My soul is something I have always been worried about, who isn't. I worry about if there is an after life. Is religion just a hoax? Why do most religions contridict themselves? Will I be punished for being happy. Is it ok to live my life how I see fit or should I follow a book written hundreds, thounsands of years ago? My soul is in constant perril. I'm muslim but I always question my religion. I mostly question the difference between culture and Islam because often they get mixed up. I have afghan friends that say they love thier religion but don't pray or read the Qur'an. I often end up teaching them about the Qur'an. It's really sad. I also don't like that some people consider me to not be a true muslim because I am black. Color has nothing to do with it. Lately I have stopped praying 5 times a day because I feel that prayer should come from the heart. I can't do the motions because it feels fake. I also feel that people should pray to thank god not to ask for fogiveness all the time. Religion is like meditation it keeps the soul at ease. I feel religion is for interpretation of the individual because everyone is different. I believe everyone is good in the beginning but the outside world sometime forces us to be bad. God knows this so this is why there are guidelines in so many religions that are the same. I do not think there is any wrong religion but I do believe that some religous leaders currupt the purpose of thier religion. This is why there are so many versions of Christianity and Islam. My soul is in constant battle but I know in the end I will make the best choice.