Me, Myself, and I

I'm at a transitioning point in my life. I have told people how I really feel about them and I've discontinued unhealthy friendships. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.

At first it was scary because in American society people think there is something wrong with you if you are by yourself. Men try to target me because they think I'm alone. I'm never alone. I have my two closest friends and my family. I may not spend a lot of time with them but when I do it's great.

I've been learning a lot about myself. I've been a perfectionist but I'm working on being ok with making mistakes. I'm being real with myself and others. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Right now I'm single, work in retail, underpaid, over-educated, and on a journey. I've been looking at joining the military for years but I was scared. Now I'm certain it is the right move for me. I want to make a difference in the world, leave a legacy, and experience different cultures.

I'm an artist and creator at heart. When I get out of the military I want to start my own business. I've done it before. I want to be able to help a variety of people in my community and family. A capitalistic society has flaws but it also brings opportunity for growth and empowerment.

Some of my family is against me going into the military but it's out of fear not understanding or experience. They fear of me dying in combat because I want to go to the army. Death is certain everyday. As soon as I walk out the house in the morning I risk the possibility of death. If I die I want to do it in an honorable way.

I grew up in the same city as Oscar Grant and I'm still here. I've been wanting to see what the world has to offer me and I will not let fear get in the way. I'm a strong person and I've always been since I was young. I was forced to grow up early due to my economic status.

While I am not my circumstances, my circumstances have made me a better person. I understand me and what I want out of life. I've been saying that I don't know what I want since I've been out of college but I've always known. I was just too scared because I didn't know how I would get there.

I now accept fear, anger, and joy. They are human emotions and I should feel them. Negative feelings aren't bad they're just there to wake me up. I'm wide awake.